Being a Known Donor: One Man's Experience
Antoine, 44, never wanted to raise children full-time, but he didn't want to be a complete stranger to a child who shared his genetics either. He became a known donor for a single woman he met through CoParentBaby three years ago.
"We were extremely clear from the beginning: I would have no custody, no financial obligation, no decision-making role. In exchange, I'd get occasional updates and the option to meet the child later in life, if she wanted that."
They drafted the agreement with a family lawyer before proceeding. "It protected both of us. She didn't have to worry about me showing up demanding a parental role. I didn't have to worry about being on the hook for support I never agreed to."
"People assume a known donor arrangement is emotionally complicated. For me it wasn't. I was honest about what I wanted from the start, and so was she. That clarity is what made it work."
Antoine's advice for future donors
- Define your role, and its limits, in writing before conception
- Be honest with yourself about how much contact you actually want
- Get independent legal advice, separate from the intended parent's lawyer