How to Verify a Future Co-Parent's Identity Safely

Because co-parenting involves a long-term commitment and a child's wellbeing, safety should never be an afterthought. Here is a practical checklist.

Before meeting in person

• Have several video calls before any physical meeting
• Ask for a government ID to confirm identity matches their profile
• Do a basic search of their name and social media presence
• Tell a friend or family member the time and location of your first in-person meeting

For the first meeting

• Choose a public place
• Arrange your own transportation
• Keep the first few meetings short

Before conception

Both parties should complete an STI panel and share results, and it's reasonable to ask about family medical history. A written agreement, reviewed by a lawyer, should be in place before proceeding.